re-do of illustration for The Ball Part 15

The Ball Part 15

Doodle of Sven

Doodle of Sven:

-Spidophile

SPOON SUIT MAN alternate opening.

The original opening for the Spoon Suit Man describes in an unlikely reason for why Clementine feels he cannot kill Sven, although he must...

When we last left our hero, he was being chased by his arch foe, the Clementine. The question we left you with was: Will Spoon Suit Man be able to survive the barrage of orange seeds and deadly missiles being hurled at him? If your answer was “Of course!” you would be correct. For the one the thing that the Clementine always forgets is that “the Spoon Suit is mightier than the orange!”

Spoon Suit Man: Alright, Clementine. Time for a Spoonful of Justice! TM

The Clementine: I don’t think so!

Spoon Suit Man: Oh, really? Well, that’s too bad. Cause I do! (launches spoon missile at Clementine)

Clementine launches orange bomb and blows up spoon suit man. Spoon suit man’s last words were: AHHHHHH!

Clementine then realizes that the radiation from the bomb that destroyed spoon suit man will give him cancer. Clementine dies of cancer and peace is restored to the city.

The next day the mayor makes a speech is memory of spoon suit man. However, some guy doesn't want to be reminded that his hero is dead and throws an orange bomb that Clementine had left in the street at the mayor.
The mayor and lots of other nameless people are killed in the explosion and all the other people including Some Guy get cancer and die.
All the remaining people are forced out of their homes because buildings need to be cleared away to make room for the bodies.
The people live in small, cramped buildings and contagious diseases start going around.
The people in the small cramped buildings die of disease and starvation and any survivors flee the country.
But the diseases are still all over their belongings that they brought with them and people get sicker and sicker and die. Eventually the population of earth is reduced to just a handful of people who developed immunity to the disease.
But a hurricane comes up and the handful is not warned of it because all the weathermen are dead.
The Handful die and with them all human life on earth. So the dogs and the monkeys fight for superiority, each claiming that they are smarter.
The dogs and monkeys kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the cats and the snakes fight for superiority, each claiming that they were smarter.
The cats and the snakes kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the birds and the fish fight for superiority, each claiming that they are smarter. The fish and birds kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the bugs and the mice fight for superiority, each claiming that they were smarter.
The bugs and the mice kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the germs and the bacteria fight for superiority, each claiming that they were smarter.
The germs and the bacteria kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
So the molecules and the atoms fight for superiority, each claiming that they were smarter.
The molecules and the atoms kill each other off as they were not smart enough to realize that they were killing each other off faster than they could reproduce.
Galactus and the Silver Surfer mistake earth for an uninhabited planet as there is clearly no life on it. Earth is consumed.
Now there is just a bunch of dust floating around the solar system. Now do you realize how important Spoon Suit Man is?

Clementine awoke with a groan. "I cannot kill Spoon Suit Man!" he moaned, "But I must! I hate him! I hate him!" Suddenly, a lightbulb went on above Clementine's head.

"That's it!" he snickered evilly. "Everyone knows the only way to kill a spoon... is to -"

He laughed wickedly, overcome with the genius of his brilliant plan.\

That was edited for length.

More Spoon Suit Man is on the way! Don't lose hope, O faithful ones!

So sorry

Sorry there has been no new episode and no warning. Our rigorous writers have the flu and are so behind on the story. On the bright side of things, you can catch up on all those posts you haven't had the time to read!

<center><a href="http://newsporkcity.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Spoonful of Justice" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzQqkZP2MR_iZ9J2d2-1bmFvHzQpSK-f3AZLQPhiwXSE_qRATMrdHLzoxNLb6ciIsGJdAmI7QF-75x-w9EQiAyO6lcguResrJ-oHY_sNHqIXvBY4c5izI_eyrlLlOR7EKA6IvUmS4Zp-Rs/s1600/Spoonful.jpg"/></a></center>

Take this if you've read more than 20 posts, or if you're just a proud follower.

Attack of the Klowns: Part 12 (Spidophile)

When we last left out hero, he had found Ben and his new friend. Dr. Anthony was revealed to be an Akrobat, but as he is wounded Sven has to face Dr. Murray who is approaching him with his lethal guitar.

Thinking quickly, Sven yanked a a chunk of armor from his thigh and unfolded into a spoon-shaped electric guitar. Dr Murray scowled. Sven scowled. The camera zoomed in on Dr. Murray's face. The camera zoomed in on Sven's face. Extreme close-up on Dr Murray's eyes. Extreme close-up on Sven's eyes. They both began strumming their guitars as fast as they could. Dr Murray bent over so far that his head touched the floor. Sven tried to shake his hair back and forth but instead banged his head on his helmet. Holding his head in one hand and strumming the guitar with the other, he began to sing in falsetto at the top of his voice.

"Oooooooh, play your guitar with Murray! Play your guitar with him! Play your guitar with Murray! Let's all play and sing!"

Attack of the Klowns: Part 11 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, had reached the door where his cousin sidekick, Ben, was being held captive.

He was about to knock when he heard the familiar sound of Ben's voice.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sven kicked the door open and rushed inside.

Ben was sitting on an operating table. Beside him was a teenage girl wearing glasses. She turned around and assumed the Iron Fist pose. Then she dropped it.

"Spoon Suit Man!" she gasped.

"Sven!" yelled Ben.

"I - I - it's - it's a pleasure to m-meet you," said the girl. "Can I - can I -"

"Have my autograph?" said Sven. "Sure."

Attention, Loyal Readers!

This blog will be under construction (revamping and remodeling) until May 31st. The regularly scheduled posts will resume then.

Until then, feel free to browse the archives.

- Lauren

Attack of the Klowns: Part 10 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, his sidekick had been kidnapped and experimented on by evil aliens called Klowns. Our courageous blond hero teamed up with ... aw, just read it!

Meanwhile, back at the lab, Ben was still unconscious. So we'll go back to His courageous rescuers, who were at this moment watching Dr. Jeff enter the code to unlock the door to the holding cells. Progress was slow because every time Jeff typed a number on the keypad he would let out a yawn, and fall asleep. Dor cracked him over the head with his umbrella.

"Aug!" cried the Alien. "What in Sydney was that for?"

"Thou wast having a nightmare." lied Dor quickly.

Attack of the Klowns: Part 9 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had come up with a plan to invade the ship, rescue the hostages, and erase the minds of the aliens. - Lauren

"All right, Dor, let's do this!" said Sven.

"Aye!" said Dor. "Release us onto that vile ship!"

"Be careful," said Xidorn as he opened the chute that would take them into space.

"Bye boys! Have fun storming the Klown ship!" said Xenia.

"You think they can do it?" asked Xidorn as Sven and Dor were shot out into space.

"It will take two Akrobats, two highly advanced personal computers, and two heroes," said Xenia. "At least."

Attack of the Klowns: Part 8 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, he had enlisted the help of Dor to aid him in the rescue of his sidekick and cousin from the clutches of evil aliens. - Lauren


After they cleared the atmosphere, Sven explained to Dor about the Klowns and the Akrobats. After he finished, he remembered that there was no sound in space. After they were inside the Akrobat ship, he explained it again. After that, the real planning began.

"What's the plan?" asked Sven to Dor, Xenia and Xidorn collectively.

"We storm their vessel of evil and crush all in our path!" roared Dor, demonstrating with his umbrella so they all had to duck to avoid being flattened.

"I like it." Xidorn stood up. "Simple, easy to remember."

"Except they outnumber us forty-to-one." Xenia pointed out.

"We could use stealth." Sven suggested. "Slip in, grab stuff, slip out."

Attack of the Klowns: Part 7 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had made a deal with an alien species called the Akrobats to help them defeat the evil alien race: The Klowns.

Meanwhile, back on the Klown's spaceship, Ben was undergoing the most rigorous test of his life.

"What is 10 + the square root of 4?" asked Doctor Murray.

"Um.... 9?" asked Ben.

"Incorrect," said Doctor Murray. "The answer is twelve. If someone took your wallet away from you, how would that make you feel?"

"Ummm.... Sad?"

"Incorrect. The answer is angry. What does this look like to you?"

Doctor Murray held up a piece of paper with a picture of Spider-man on it.

"Ummm... That's Spider-man."

"Incorrect," said Doctor Murray. "This is a piece of paper. Last question."

Attack of the Klowns: Part 6 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, he had heard the news that Ben had been abducted by aliens. 

Meanwhile, Back at the ranch, (or should I say earth), Sven arrived on the scene of the circus tent. Nicole bounded toward him.

"Svenny!" she threw her arms around his neck and burst into fresh tears. Sven awkwardly patted her on the back. She broke away from him.

"Oh, Svenny! So Benny and I were like going to the circus and I hugged him at the bus station and he like said you're choking me and I laughed and said oh Benny you're so funny and then we got to the circus and he was like that's not how it's spelled and I said that it was like crispy cream and then there was cotton candy that like looked totally like vomit  and the popcorn was totally like purple and like this game where you whack a little horse with like this big hammer and like this big clown came and gave him a yellow balloon and he gave me a green balloon and there was also like a green lion and Benny was scared of it and I told him that it was a vegetarian and then we went up into the big top and Ben said it was to high and then like the show started and there were these clowns and they were giving out balloons and then they like took these poles and I thought they were going to do pole salting and he said vaulting and I said salting and he said vaulting and I said salting and they hit the poles against each other and there was like lightning everywhere and they hit the people with like yellow balloons and made them disappear and then Benny like asked for a safety pin but all I had was a scimitar and so the lightning hit him and now he's GONE! BOOHOOHOOHOOHOOO!"

Attack of the Klowns: Part 5 (Lauren)

When we last left our sidekick, he had been abducted by clown-like aliens. - Lauren

When Ben awoke (yes, he had fainted) he found himself laying on a smooth, clean, cold floor.

He groggily sat up. The yellow balloon was still tied to his wrist.

"I feel groggy," he said.

A teenage girl wearing glasses who sat beside him (and also had a yellow balloon tied to her wrist) turned to him.

"I'm so glad you're awake," she said. "Do you think they're Skrulls?"

"You mean like the paper scrolls or like Marvel Skrulls?"

She laughed. 

"Marvel Skrulls, silly!"

Ben thought the way she said "silly" sounded much better than it did coming from Nicole.

Apologies...

We apologize for the lack of an episode today. Out posting schedule is a little bit off, so the next installment will be on Tuesday. 


-Spidophile

Attack of the Klowns: Part 4 (Spidophile)

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had gone on a date with his fiancee Nicole Soapdish. The circus they had gone to was extremely odd, however, and the seats at the top that Nicole had chosen were extremely high up. - Lauren

Once they had taken their seats at the very top, Ben began to feel altitude sickness. Nicole seemed just fine.

"Benny, look at what that guy's doing!" she squealed and pointed down toward the tiny ring.

"Yes, wow, amazing." said Ben, not looking down. With my luck, he thought, He'll have a hypnotic hat.

"Clowns!" shrieked Nicole delightedly. Despite himself, Ben looked down. 

Attack of the Klowns: Part 3 (Lauren)

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had just been rescued from dire straits by a mysterious heroine in white. - Lauren

"Ben, are you okay?" said Sven.

Ben whirled around. Sven stood there with his arms full of groceries.

"Sven," moaned Ben. "Nicole wants to go to the circus with me." 

"That's nice," said Sven. "You two should get to know each other better." 

"Sven!" moaned Ben. 

"Tell me when to rent my tux," said Sven, and he continued walking down the street. 

"Sven..." said Ben, running after him. 

"That's my name, don't overuse it," said Sven. 

Attack of the Klowns: Part 2 (Spidophile)

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had been forced into a circus date with his fiancee, Nicole Soapdish, and had just got a knock on the door. - Lauren

"What?" said Ben, opening the door. "Oh, hey Frank-the-delivery-guy."

"Package for you." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"This must be my new jacket!" gasped Ben excitedly. "Thanks, Frank-the-delivery-guy!"

"I need you to sign here." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"Oh, of course, Frank-the-delivery-guy ." Ben signed the paper.

"Okay, Thank you." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"Bye, Frank-the-delivery-guy!" called Ben as Frank-the-delivery-guy walked away. 

"My name is Fred!" called Fred-the-delivery-guy dully. 

Attack of the Klowns: Part 1 (Lauren)

New Spork City Media presents... Killer Klowns From Outer Space!

They're aliens! They're clowns! They're the killer Klowns!

Ben rolled his eyes.

"Television is so unrealistic today," he muttered to no one in particular. It was Monday morning, and he was sprawled on the couch in front of his TV in his tiny, dingy apartment watching the syfy channel.

He almost fell off his couch reaching for the remote to change the channel. His mission accomplished, he flipped to a different channel.

P-p-p-p-pandora! P-p-p-p-pandora! Pandora-dora-dora brave explorer!

"Ooh, I love this show!" squealed Ben.

Spidophile has a BLOG!

Attention! Spidophile has a Blog! It can be found at:

Strictlyspidophile.blogspot.com

Apologies for lack of illo's lately. Thank you to all our followers, readers, and commenters! 

The Ball: Part 15 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had a long day. A ball, a date, and an epic battle between good and evil, all on a Saturday night. - Lauren

"Cassandra," said Sven, "it's been a wonderful night and all, but I think I should be getting home."

"What's wrong, Sven?" asked Cassandra. "Were you seriously wounded and now you're  going home to work on the cure but you won't find it in time and your last thought will have been that you wished you could see my face one last time?"

"What?" said Sven.

"Nothing," said Cassandra quickly.

"No, it's just that I don't want to wear this costume anymore."

"Ben needs a ride home."

Sven glanced over at Ben's prostrate form. 

"Why doesn't his fiancée give him a ride?" smirked Sven.

Cap'n Cino Theme

There's a new theme song on the NewSporkCityHeroes channel!

Check it out:

The Ball: Part 14 (Spidophile)

    (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning)

When we last left our hero, he had come face to face with the powerful supervillain who had just informed Sven that his name was Echo. - Lauren

"Neva hoid of him," said Sven, quoting his Second Favorite Musical of All Time. The shadowy figure glided closer to Sven.

"Echo, as in a man so wicked that he was consumed by his own sin and forced to live in the agony of tortured souls as an echo of human life."

"Really?" breathed Sven.

"No, but that's what most people think."

"Why do you call yourself Echo, then?"

"Irrelevant. What is relevant is the fact that you have let my mortal enemies fight the scabbed one and the minions, foolishly choosing to face me yourself."

"Who's the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?"

"That's a ridiculous question. Let's just say that if you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

The Ball: Part 13 (Lauren)

                      (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning)


When we last left our hero, he was engaged in an epic battle between the heroes and villains of New Spork City. The Chief of Police, Lief Captin, however, was getting worried. - Lauren

Chief Captain Lief Captin waded through the mess of soggy tablecloths, hors d'oeuvres, and napkins to the podium. He grabbed the dripping microphone.

"Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3..."

The heroes and villains stopped their fighting and stared at him.

"Ahem, um, hi, so I know we're all having such a great evening..."

The heroes and villains cheered and clapped in agreement.

"But this is New Spork City property, so it's better if we wrap this thing up..."

The villains hissed and booed. Poki raised his hand and whisked away the microphone by magic. It landed smoothly in his outstretched hand.

"Heroes of New Spork City," he said. "You have fought valiantly..."

"We won't give you Harry!" shouted Dingo.

Everyone stared at him.

"Sorry, wrong movie," he said, blushing.

The Ball: Part 12 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning)

When we last left our hero, he was leading the charge against the supervillains of New Spork City. An epic battle had then ensued. And I do mean ensued. - Lauren

From every side and corner came cries of "Take that!" and "Ouch!".  


Dor raised his umbrella over the head of Poki, who stopped it with a spell. Cap'n Cino hurled his coffee cup at the Red Herring's fish-like head as the villain reached for his gun. A legion of Cronybots and the Echobeast (Echo's pet monster) attacked the Teenage Mutant Ninja Zombie Vampire Dinosaur Spies and Edgar Oscar. 


Plucky pounced and pummeled IDK, who seized the hyper teen by the neck. Dr. Spork tore down the length of the room pursued by the Avaricious Arachnid and a flood of spiders.  Scab Berto drew two knives from his scabbed arms and lunged at Professor Excalibur, who deflected them with her flashing blade.  


Cassandra sank her fist into an attacking Brown Recluse's stomach. Sven saw Puerto strike back. 

"Cassandra!" he shouted. He started toward her but an explosion threw him off his feet. 

The Ball: Part 11 (Lauren)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

Note: There is no Illustration for today's post. Spidophile has been very lazy busy lately and will try to get one out for part eleven soon!


In which we learned what happened to Sven:

Sven awoke with a throbbing head and a sore throat. He opened his eyes and glanced around. He was still in the ballroom, but it was completely deserted. The man who had been speaking at the mic was sitting in a large chair in the middle of the ballroom, watching him intently. Several dozen minions milled around.

"Hello, Sven," said the man. "Allow me to introduce myself."

The man stood up and began to walk toward Sven, who hastily scrambled to his feet, ignoring the dizzy feeling that washed over him. He mentally registered that the man was wearing sandals.

"No need to get up, Sven," said the man.

"Who are you?" Sven said hoarsely.

The Ball: Part 10 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Plucky had been scooped up and carried away. - Lauren


In which we learn what happened to Plucky:
Plucky had been scooped up by the Avaricious Arachnid, being mistaken for Ben. Quickly immobilizing him with a few strands of spiderweb, she leaped off the roof and swung across the city. Finally, Jazmin let go of the web and fell through the dirty window of a sleazy-looking apartment building in a run-down part of town. The floor of the room appeared black, however the blackness scampered to the corners after her boots touched the ground. Spiderwebs lay thick upon the walls and ceilings, and the number of spiders crowding over the sparse furniture created a spiky coating, mostly black, but with snatches of gold and green here and there. The Avaricious Arachnid dropped Plucky on the floor.

"Did you guys miss me?" she lovingly asked the spiky coating. Immediately a surge of spiders rushed toward the villainess and climbed all over her. She giggled as an orb weaver crawled across her cheek.

"Okay! Get off! That's enough! You too, Harvey. We have a guest!" she turned to Plucky, who had shut his electric green eyes tight against the numerous arachnids swarming over his head.

The Ball: Part 9 (Lauren)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains.

In which we learn what happened to Cassandra:

The stifling hood was pulled off of Cassandra's head. She was grateful; it had smelled like potatoes. As her eyes adjusted to the brightness she realized why. It was a potato sack.

"How are you, Miss Captin?" said a voice.

Cassandra sat up. She was in a small white room, leaning against a large air duct with her hands cuffed behind her.

"Fine, Puerto. How are you?" she said.

"How about I'm better now I'm out of prison?" said Puerto, grinning. He paced back and forth, his hands behind his back.

Cassandra watched him silently.

"How about now you ask me how I escaped?" he said.

"No thank you," said Cassandra. Secretly, she was struggling with the handcuffs.

The Ball: Part 8 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Zombie Vampire Dinosaur Spies had been teleported out of the city. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Zombie Vampire Dinosaur Spies and Edgar Oscar: 

Lillith City wasn't far from New Spork City, and not far from Lillith City a frightening building lurked in shadows. The lair of the infamous, terrible, horrific, no-one's-ever-seen-his-face villainous mastermind, Echo. Echo was very into architecture and the building was so geometrical that it highly resembled a can opener. Security devices were sprinkled over every inch and Echo's personal teleportation device jutted out from a wall like a wasps nest. It was into this frightful nest that Ted, Zilch, Sahara, Dingo, and the Chief of Spies were teleported. After all the light died down and the spinning stopped, the lone figures stood dazed. A trapdoor opened beneath their feet.

"Really? Another trapdoor?" said Ted as they went sliding down a dark passage.

"Yeah, I mean he does this every time." Zilch took Sahara's hand and leaned back.

"At least Lili's safe this time." Edgar Oscar remarked. "Keep your elbows in, Dingo."

"Ouch!" cried Dingo, his elbow smacking the wall.

The Ball: Part 7 (Lauren)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Helen Excalibur had been dragged off to a dark alley by a mysterious captor. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Professor Excalibur:


"Hands off me!" yelled Helen Excalibur.

"Okay, okay," said her abductor. He backed away from her.

"Scab Berto!" she cried.

"Professor," said Scab Berto, bowing.

"Where's my sword?" Helen reached for her sheath and drew the long blade.

"Now, now, cousin," said the the treacherous villain, holding his hands up. "We can talk this over."

"You treacherous villain!" said Helen. "You planned this, didn't you?"

"Alas, no, cousin."

The Ball: Part 6 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had all been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Cap'n Cino had been picked up and flown out of the ballroom. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Cap'n Cino: 

Clementine had snatched the hero from the ballroom and flown through the door out into the sky on his Orangeglider.

"Bet you weren't expecting this, Spoonface!" he cackled as they zipped around a building.

"I'll admit it, you totally fooled me. You fooled us all." called Cino above the wind. "But you won't beat us all!"

"That's what you think!" Clementine grinned with glee. "But in the end, the orange really is mightier than the spoon, so HAH!  Did you think I was a fool, Spencer? Did you really think that I was so helpless as to be brought to jail by YOU?" he continued. "This is what you get for underestimating me!"

"I didn't underestimate you, mister. Nobody underestimated you. You're still just a man dressed as an orange, and always will be!"

The Ball: Part 5 (Lauren)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Ben had been picked up and tossed roughly over an enormous, broad shoulder - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Ben:

Ben woke up (yes, he had fainted) to find himself being dumped in a garbage can in an alley. He blinked blearily. Then he realized where he was.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Ben.

Slowly, the big burly man who had carried him off turned to face him.

"Whaaats youur prooobleeem?" the man said, drawing out each of the vowels.

"I'm in a garbage can!" shrieked Ben.

"I can take you out if you want," he said slowly.

Reaching into the garbage can, he pulled the trembling sidekick out and dropped him on the ground. Coffee grounds and banana peels fell all around him.

The Ball: Part 4 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had all been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Jupidor, the greek rain god, had been dragged away in the dark by a mysterious captor. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Dor:

As soon as the mysterious villain had Dor safely out of the ballroom he was joined by a dozen burly henchmen who subdued the rain god without much difficulty. Dor woke to the sound of a triumphant voice.

"Velcome to my lair, Capitan!"

Dor opened his eyes.

"Indeed, you art the red faced man who had approached me before."

"But don't you realize who I am? Your greatest nemesis? ZE RED HERRING?!?" the villain threw up his hands.

The Ball: Part 3 (Lauren)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our hero, he had arrived at the long-expected party. His friend (and the hero he had dressed up as) Jupidor had just gone to the bar. - Lauren

"Ah, my brother Bacchus would approve," said the muscular Dor as he strode up to the bar. "What is your name, woman, she who purveys fine drinks?"

"Molly Pitcher," she said sharply. "I'd like to remind you that drinks are only available to those 21 and older."

"Fair Molly, I was born in 600 B.C., that blessed time where wine was as common as water."

"Then have you talked to your doctor about the effects of consuming alcohol at your age?"

"Doctor?" Dor was confused. "As my good friend Thales of Miletus once said - "

"Drink please." Sven leaned against the bar and took off his orange helmet. "I need one if I'm going to spend the rest of the evening in this cost-"

Sven recognized Dor just in time.

"I mean, as my mother used to say, 'Whine less; breath more.' But who needs to breathe, right?"

Spoon Suit Man Recap

Hello, loyal readers! Lauren here.

I was feeling a little nostalgic today, so I've put together a recap featuring Spidophile's illustrations and the Spoon Suit Man theme.

If you're feeling nostalgic as well and would like to go back and read from the beginning, click here.

Remember to check back next Tuesday to continue reading the exciting new chapter of the Spoon Suit Man story, The Ball.

-Lauren

The Ball: Part 2 (Spidophile)

(Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our hero, he was wakened by his computer J.E.R.O.S.L.A.V., and then commenced complaining about Greek fashion to his computer, who remains unsympathetic. - Lauren

"Very good, sir. Shall I iron your armbands, sir?" asked  J.E.R.O.S.L.A.V.

"Yeah, and while you're at it iron the miniskirt." replied Sven grumpily.

"Actually, sir, the blue garment you are requesting me to iron is called a tunic."

"Yeah," Sven sighed and reached for his jeans. "But it looks like a miniskirt."

Ben was still snoring soundly on the sofa. Sven stomped sleepily to the colossal kitchenette in search of some cereal. But when he got there, the cupboard was bare, and so poor old Svenny had none.

"Drat." he slammed the cupboard door shut.

"Shall I order some more Marshmallow Mateys online, sir?"

Attention!

Attention Loyal Readers!

We interrupt our regular posting to bring you this important word from the authors.

If you haven't already suffered a seizure due to Plucky's incessant arm waving, we encourage you to go check out author Lauren's new blog, Word Art, in which she posts about writing and book related stuff.

So, go check it out, follow it, and if you're getting a headache watching Plucky, go back and read some old Spoon Suit Man while waiting for the new one on Thursday. 

Spidophile has diligently gone back and posted links to the next section of the story beneath every previous section of the story for your reading ease and pleasure.

See y'all on Thursday, loyal followers!

~ Lauren and Spidophile (and Plucky)

The Ball: Part 1 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had concluded an exciting day of crime-fighting. Now, he is about to embark on one of the most astounding, mind-bending, heart-pounding, fantastically awesome adventures of his lifetime! Read on, eager followers! ~ Lauren and Spidophile

Early Saturday Morning...

A shady figure lurks in the shadows. He is approached by another, even more shadowy figure.

"Tonight?" he asks.

"Tonight." agrees the shadowy figure.

"Is he coming?" asks the shady figure.

"I am here," says a voice.

The shady and shadowy figures spin around. An evil face leers out of the shadows at them.

"How did you do it?" asks the shadowy figure.

"I have my ways." says the evil one.

Spoon Suit Man: Part 23 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he was escorting the lovely Cassandra Captin home, leaving his resentful cousin and sidekick Ben to walk home alone in the rain. - Lauren

Two hours later Sven entered his apartment to find Ben eating popcorn and watching "America's Got Talent".


"No!" Ben shouted, spilling popcorn. "That guy was funny! Send him to the next round!"

Sven guiltily attempted to sneak past Ben. Unfortunately, the commercials came on and Ben's attention wavered from the screen.

"Sven, is that you?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, Ben. It's the big bad wolf."

"Sven, you left me alone at the theater! What kind of a friend are you? What kind of a cousin are you?"

Spoon Suit Man: Part 22 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, he had left his sidekick to walk home alone in the rain. - Lauren

"Oh oh oh oh oh is is it? Is it?" said a high pitched frantic voice. Ben turned around. Hanging upside down by his feet from the bottom of a fire ladder in the shadows of a dark alley was a shadowy figure.

"Plucky? What are you doing here?" he grumbled. The figure backflipped off the fire ladder and performed a series of cartwheels.

"I'm ever so plucky!" he chirped.

"Good for you, rainbow head." Ben walked away,  still miserable. Plucky skipped up beside him on his hands.

"You going to to to to to to the ball tomorrrroooowwww???"

"Sure."

"You need some costume advice?"

Spoon Suit Man: Part 21 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had just put on his portable armor in order to defeat the evil minions of Puerto Estera Blake, the Brown Recluse. - Lauren

"GET OUT!" Sven roared in his deepest voice. The effect would have perhaps been more terrifying if he had had a helmet to amplify his voice, but in any case, it worked.

The frightened thugs began running pell-mell out of the building. And I do mean pell-mell.

The audience erupted into cheering and applause. Sven bowed as he received a standing ovation. Cassandra beamed from the balcony. Ben had fainted after throwing SS20, and was laying unconscious at her feet. And Puerto...

"Prepararse para morir," said Puerto, and he held a gun to Sven's head.

The audience booed and hissed and threw popcorn. Sven didn't move.

"This is foolish, Puerto," he said in a low voice.

"How foolish? How do you call this foolish?" Puerto hissed, "How about I'm ready to blow your head off?"

"You really don't want to do that."