The Ball: Part 6 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had all been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Cap'n Cino had been picked up and flown out of the ballroom. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Cap'n Cino: 

Clementine had snatched the hero from the ballroom and flown through the door out into the sky on his Orangeglider.

"Bet you weren't expecting this, Spoonface!" he cackled as they zipped around a building.

"I'll admit it, you totally fooled me. You fooled us all." called Cino above the wind. "But you won't beat us all!"

"That's what you think!" Clementine grinned with glee. "But in the end, the orange really is mightier than the spoon, so HAH!  Did you think I was a fool, Spencer? Did you really think that I was so helpless as to be brought to jail by YOU?" he continued. "This is what you get for underestimating me!"

"I didn't underestimate you, mister. Nobody underestimated you. You're still just a man dressed as an orange, and always will be!"


"A GENIUS dressed as an orange! Don't forget that! G-E-N-I-U-S!"

"So you can spell, hoop-dee-doo."

"You're jealous, Spoonface. Jealous of my superior intelligence and good looks! Too jealous and vain to admit that the Orange is also smarter than the Spoon!"

"Oh yeah? Well, Coffee is mightier than the Orange!" Cap'n Cino twisted his flexible tin-foil encased body and kicked Clementine in the stomach, knocking him off balance and causing the Orangeglider to tilt precariously. Taking advantage of Clementine's momentary disorientation, Chino slammed a well-trained fist into the villain's stomach and another one upside his jaw. Clementine yelled in pain and fell back so hard that the glider turned upside-down in midair. Cap'n Cino grabbed onto a lever to avoid falling to earth. Unfortunately it happened to be the secret self-destruct lever and the countdown started instantly to the flashing of a red light.

ten, nine, eight, beeped the numbers.

"AAAHHH YOU FOOL WE'RE GONNA DIE!" screamed the villain.

Seven, six, five, 

"Me?" snorted the Cap'n. "It's your fault for even installing a self-destruct lever. Hey, it's your fault we're EVEN UP HERE!"

Four, three, two,

"Didn't think about that."

The Orangeglider exploded.

"My Orangeglider!" shrieked Clementine.

"Hey, bud?"

"What!"

"You realize that we're falling a tremendous distance to the ground and your seconds are numbered?"

Clementine glanced down.

"Activate your boot thrusters! Start your little Spooncopter thingy! Take me to jail! Don't let me die!!!"

"Wow, you're really bossy, aren't you? Well, here's the truth: I'm not Spoon Suit Man. I'm Cap'n Cino. And while I don't have a suit of spoon-themed armor I have the power of the Capable Cadet Coffee flowing in my veins and, fortunately for us, I always pack a parachute."

Cap'n Cino grabbed Clementine and pulled the cord on his back. The life-saving parachute unfolded in the yellow and brown of the hero and was decorated with the coffee cup symbol.

"Shucks." spat the villain when they touched down in a convenient park.

"What do you mean? You're alive, aren't you?"

"Yes, but now I'm going back to prison."

"You got that right, mister." agreed Cap'n Cino.

"Actually," Clementine smiled. "This is the first time that I'm happy to be wrong."

Clementine yanked off an orange pip shaped confusion grenade and threw it at the Cap'n.

"Gadzooks!" cried Cino as the blinding orange explosions surrounded him. Meanwhile, Clementine hailed a cab and made his getaway.

"City Hall and step on it!" he shouted to the driver.


Next Monday: We learn what happened to Professor Excalibur!


Read the next section: The Ball part 7 (Lauren)