The Ball: Part 7 (Lauren)

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When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Helen Excalibur had been dragged off to a dark alley by a mysterious captor. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Professor Excalibur:


"Hands off me!" yelled Helen Excalibur.

"Okay, okay," said her abductor. He backed away from her.

"Scab Berto!" she cried.

"Professor," said Scab Berto, bowing.

"Where's my sword?" Helen reached for her sheath and drew the long blade.

"Now, now, cousin," said the the treacherous villain, holding his hands up. "We can talk this over."

"You treacherous villain!" said Helen. "You planned this, didn't you?"

"Alas, no, cousin."

Helen flicked the end of her sword at him.

"Liar," she said. "Tell me the truth."

Scab Berto backed up until he was against the wall. Helen held the blade perilously close to his neck.

"I didn't plan this," he said. "I merely helped."

"Helped with what?" Helen's face was inches away from his. She dug the blade into his skin.

"It was a master plan by Echo and Poki," he said frantically. "They offered us all the chance to fight our archenemies while they -"

"While they what?" said Helen. "Tell me."

Scab Berto was silent.

"TELL ME!" she yelled.

"You are my cousin..." said Scab Berto.

Helen raised her sword furiously.

"So I don't want to hurt you," continued Scab Berto. "But I must."

Two minions jumped out of the shadows and grabbed the professor's arms. Scab Berto twirled his cape.

"Come on," taunted Helen. "Fight like a man!"

"I would fight like a man if I were fighting a man," said Scab Berto.

"You mean if you could fight like a man," said Helen.

"You know, after all these months fantasizing about how I would destroy you," said Scab Berto. "The end is quite anticlimactic. Oh well. That's life, I suppose."

He drew a knife out of his shoulder. Helen stood perfectly still as he approached her, knife raised.

"Goodbye, cousin - oof!"

Scab Berto doubled up in pain as Helen kicked him in the stomach. While he was preoccupied she quickly beat up the two minions who were holding her. After she elbowed the first one in the face, he decided to lay down and be quiet. The second one only needed a little pepper spray in the eyes to become compliant.

Helen leaned down and picked up her fallen sword.

"Cousin," she hissed, leaning down close to Scab Berto, who was laying on the ground. "Tell me what the plan is."

"You're too late!" cackled Scab Berto. "You'll never get to city hall in time."

Helen sneered at him contemptuously.


"Want to bet?" she said, and she ran off in the direction of city hall.


Thursday: We learn what happened to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Zombie Vampire Dinosaur Spies (and maybe even learn how to say their name right)!


Read the next section: The Ball: Part 8 (Spidophile)