The Ball: Part 8 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Zombie Vampire Dinosaur Spies had been teleported out of the city. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Zombie Vampire Dinosaur Spies and Edgar Oscar: 

Lillith City wasn't far from New Spork City, and not far from Lillith City a frightening building lurked in shadows. The lair of the infamous, terrible, horrific, no-one's-ever-seen-his-face villainous mastermind, Echo. Echo was very into architecture and the building was so geometrical that it highly resembled a can opener. Security devices were sprinkled over every inch and Echo's personal teleportation device jutted out from a wall like a wasps nest. It was into this frightful nest that Ted, Zilch, Sahara, Dingo, and the Chief of Spies were teleported. After all the light died down and the spinning stopped, the lone figures stood dazed. A trapdoor opened beneath their feet.

"Really? Another trapdoor?" said Ted as they went sliding down a dark passage.

"Yeah, I mean he does this every time." Zilch took Sahara's hand and leaned back.

"At least Lili's safe this time." Edgar Oscar remarked. "Keep your elbows in, Dingo."

"Ouch!" cried Dingo, his elbow smacking the wall.


Ten minutes later they had all reached the end of the black tunnel and were standing in a black room.

"Thirty-nine bottles of coke on the wall! Thirty-nine bottles of coke on the wall, thirty-nine-"

"We're out, Dingo, you can stop now." Ted pointed out. "It's really quite filthy down here."
"No it's not- oh, right. Nice one." Sahara gave him a high five that ended up on his face.

"Why can't we follow the butterflies?" asked Zilch in an English accent.

"Dobby is...free..." squeaked Dingo.

"That's enough, kids. We could be attacked any minute."

"Aw, lighten up, Mr. Oscar," said Sahara casually. "We've done this a thousand- AAAHHH!"

"Sahara!" cried Zilch. "Sahara, where-GHAAA!"

"Dingo! Ted!" shouted Edgar Oscar. "Stay close to me! Be careful! We-WHOAH!"

Dingo and Ted stood in the dark. Everything was quiet.

"This is creepy." whispered Dingo.

"So are we." replied Ted comfortingly. "Let's move."

The two lads took hands and cautiously pressed forward.

"Dingo?"

"Yeah?"

"Isn't it weird?"

"Yeah. But it's not the weirdest thing I've ever done."

"No, not that. I'm talking about how our vampire vision hasn't kicked in by now. It usually comes on in the dark, but I can't see a thing."

"So you're saying..."

"We're not really in the dark."

Dingo paused to think this over. "Where are we, then?"

"Where do the trapdoors usually take us?"

"We're in the Maze of Murder?"

"Probably. The darkness is probably an optical illusion to confuse us."

"Well, how do we get out of an optimal illusion?"

"Close your eyes, and on the count of three, open them and stare straight up."

Dingo and Ted closed their eyes, counted to three, and flung their heads straight up. Both found themselves staring at a shining metal ceiling.

"How did you do that?" breathed Dingo breathlessly.

"Script." said Ted simply. "Now all we have to do is find our way through the Maze by ourselves without dying and rescue the others so we can teleport back to the New Spork Superhero Masquerade Ball."

"I have a terrible sense of direction." Dingo looked around nervously.

"Don't worry." Ted smiled and they could hear shouting and banging from their right. "I always said that you can hear Sahara from a mile away."

And off they went through the maze, dodging boxing gloves on sticks, diving under flaming torches, leaping over boulders, swinging over snake pits, and stepping around spikes. Following the sound of voices they made it through the maze without any serious injury (Dingo had stepped on a tack in the Tacks of Terror passage). Finally they found themselves outside a bolted door. A sign on the door read: Chamber of Carnage. Angry shouts and cries echoed from behind the door.

"My sister!" cried Dingo.

"My best friend!" cried Ted.

"Our boss!" cried both, and the rushed at the door with their claws out. Shreds of metal and wood flew in all directions. The teenagers broke through the door to be greeted by the cheerful scene of twelve Cronybots and their French leader, Crony, in a heap on the floor.

"Je veux un poney." mumbled Crony woozily. "Aimeriez-vous une autre Bon-Bon, minou?"

"Wow, this should be rated for language." remarked Sahara, cleaning her claws.

"You started the fight without us!" Ted was aghast.

"You finished the fight without us!" Dingo was aghast.

"Hey, we couldn't wait for you guys to get grabbed by Cronybots." Zilch picked up the whimpering Crony by his neck.

"Alright, Crony, talk! What is Echo's plan? How did he break out all these villains?"

"Echo a été aidé par Poki qu'ils ont prévu pour les mois de travail, la magie et la science ensemble, Doom est proche."

"Oh, dear." said the Chief of Spies.

"What?" asked Dingo.

"French is the one language that I am not fluent in."

"Drat."

"I can speak French."

Everyone turned to see who was speaking. Zilch shrugged.

"What? I used to live in Quebec, remember?"

"Okay... what did Crony say?"

"He said that Echo and Poki have been planning this for months, magic and science working together, and our doom is near."

They all looked at each other. Yikes.

"We gotta get back to City Hall." said Ted.


Next Monday: We find out what happened to Cassandra!


Read the next section: The Ball: Part 9 (Lauren)