Monday, January 2, 2012

Spoon Suit Man: Part 21 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had just put on his portable armor in order to defeat the evil minions of Puerto Estera Blake, the Brown Recluse. - Lauren







"GET OUT!" Sven roared in his deepest voice. The effect would have perhaps been more terrifying if he had had a helmet to amplify his voice, but in any case, it worked.

The frightened thugs began running pell-mell out of the building. And I do mean pell-mell.

The audience erupted into cheering and applause. Sven bowed as he received a standing ovation. Cassandra beamed from the balcony. Ben had fainted after throwing SS20, and was laying unconscious at her feet. And Puerto...

"Prepararse para morir," said Puerto, and he held a gun to Sven's head.

The audience booed and hissed and threw popcorn. Sven didn't move.

"This is foolish, Puerto," he said in a low voice.

"How foolish? How do you call this foolish?" Puerto hissed, "How about I'm ready to blow your head off?"

"You really don't want to do that."

 "Why not?"

"Because you won't like me without my head."

Puerto snarled in irritation and wrapped his finger tightly around the trigger.

"How about if you don't do exactly what I say then not only will I blow your head off but my man will throw your girl off the balcony?"

Sven glanced anxiously up at Cassandra. She was staring with concern at Sven, unaware of the burly thug who lurked in the shadows behind her.

"There's no need to do that," said Sven calmly, "Why don't we talk this over somewhere else? I can take you anywhere in New Spork city."

"How about we go to the Spatula of Liberty and if you make one false move I blow your brains out?"

"Fair enough," said Sven, "but call off your thug."

"Take me there first," said Puerto.

"Cassandra," yelled Sven, "Ar... umm... dalig... umm... mannen!"

"I know," replied Cassandra, "he's holding a gun to your head."

"Inga!" yelled Sven in frustration. (it was a phrase his Swedish mother used to yell at him when he was little)

"Mentiroso sueco!" exclaimed Puerto, and he whacked Sven on the side of the head with his pistol.

"Ow!" said Sven, rubbing his ear. "That hurt!"

"How about it was supposed to?"

"
Puerto Estera Blake, put your hands in the air!"

Sven sighed in relief as Chief Captain Lief Captin and the NSPD swarmed into the opera house. The audience cheered.

"Caída de la niña" yelled Puerto. Sven glanced up in horror at the balcony, guessing his meaning. The thug in the shadows advanced upon Cassandra.

"Look out!" yelled Sven. Cassandra turned, reached for her weapon, and....

The thug tripped on Ben's unconscious body and fell over the edge of the balcony. The audience cheered. Chief Captain Lief Captain approached Puerto and handcuffed him.

"Looks like you'll be joining your ex-wife in jail, Ester." he said.

"How about this isn't over?" snarled Puerto, glaring viciously at Sven.

"Say it in Spanish," said Sven.

"I te destruirá en nuestra próxima reunión, el hombre de la cuchara!" yelled Puerto.

"What did he say?" Sven asked Cassandra, who had come down from the balcony and was standing by his side.

"I will destroy you at our next meeting, man of the spoon," she said.

"You were extremely brave," Sven said, grabbing her hand.

"You were amazing," she replied, grabbing his other hand.

"I know," Sven whispered, leaning closer to her. The audience let out a collective sigh.

"Ahem!" said Cassandra's father. Sven and Cassandra quickly let go of each other's hands and turned guiltily toward Chief Captain Lief Captain.

"I thought I told you not to bring the suit, Sven."

"I - um, well, it's not really - I mean... I'm sorry, sir." Sven hung his head in shame.

Captain Lief smiled. "Apology accepted. Good work taking down the Brown Recluse."

"Oh him? Compared to what I've had to deal with today - he was no problem."

"Sir," one of the police men tapped Captain Lief on the shoulder. "What should we do with the killer robot?"

"Oh yeah," Sven rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "I forgot about that."

"Just... I don't know, throw it in the junkyard," said the Captain.

"Yes sir." the man eyed the wrecked robot warily.

"Cassandra, Sven, you two need to come with me to the police station so I can get your statements."

"Ever ridden in a police car?" Cassandra asked Sven.

"No," Sven admitted.

Ten minutes later Sven found himself on his first ride in a police car. In the back seat.

"It was so sweet of you to let me ride in the front seat, Sven," said Cassandra.

Sven leaned his head against the bars. "Yeah," he replied.

"Sorry it had to be the same car we were transporting Ester in," said Captain Lief.

Puerto, gagged and handcuffed, glared at Sven from the other seat. Sven hastily shifted closer to the window.

"No problem," he said, keeping an eye on Puerto.

"Oh, Sven, I forgot to tell you - Ben was the one who brought your SS20," said Cassandra.

"Oh," said Sven. He finally realized that Ben had been at the opera. He thought guiltily of the questions he would have to answer now. Then he wondered where Ben was.

Ben woke up to someone prodding him repeatedly in the ribs. He opened his eyes.

"Get up, the show's over." A woman with a broom was jabbing him in the side.

"Are you an angel?" Ben asked groggily.

"No!" said the woman, and she banged him over the head. Ben sat up hastily.

"Hey, no need to shout." he looked around him and remembered that he was in the opera house.

"Sven deserted me!" he shouted in righteous indignation.

"I don't care what you had for desert, get out! The show is over!" said the woman.

"Okay, okay." Ben scrambled to his feet and left the opera house.

 As the cold night air whipped around him, taunting him mercilessly, he pulled his coat closer around him. Sad music began to play in his head and rain started to soak his clothes. He sniffed pitifully.

"Life is so unfair!" he sobbed, tripping over a bag that someone had left on the sidewalk. He walked on, ignoring it.

"I'll teach them to leave a bag where someone can trip on it." he said to himself.

Just then he heard a shout of delight, and he turned around. A homeless man had opened the bag and was pulling wads of dollar bills out. Ben kicked the sidewalk in anger, stubbed his toe, howled and continued walking toward Sven's apartment.

"The life of a sidekick is miserable," he moaned.



"Oh oh oh oh oh is is it? Is it?" said a high pitched frantic voice. Ben turned around. Hanging upside down by his feet from the bottom of a fire ladder in the shadows of a dark alley was a shadowy figure. 


Will Ben stop feeling sorry for himself (I doubt it)? Who is the shadowy figure? Find out on Tuesday!


Next section: Spoon Suit Man part 22 (Spidophile)

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