Prepararse para morir, el hombre cuchara!" cried the Brown Recluse.
"Que?" asked Sven.
"Prepare to die, man of spoon," translated Cassandra, looking up from her weapon assembling.
"Hey, wait a minute... that wasn't a question!" said Sven accusingly.
"How about I don't talk in questions while I speak in my native language?" replied the Brown Recluse.
"That's kind of awesome," mused Sven.
"Usted no tiene mucho tiempo para pensar acerca de mi habilidad impresionante!" Puerto cried.
"Cassandra?" said Sven hopefully.
"You will not have much time to think about my awesome ability," Cassandra translated.
"Hey, how many languages do you speak, exactly?" Ben asked Cassandra.
"Oh, Spanish, German, Italian, Dutch, Greek, Hebrew, Swedish..."
"Hey, Sven can speak Swedish! Sven!" Ben leaned over the balcony, "Reply in Swedish!"
"Er... I only know one sentence in Swedish," admitted Sven.
"Que?" said the Brown Recluse.
"Ty sa alskade Gud varlden, att han utgav sin enfodde Son, pa det att var och en som tror pa honom skall icke forgas, utan hava evigt liv," said Sven valiantly in his best Swedish accent.
"What did he say?" asked Ben.
"Sven," Cassandra said. "I doubt that's going to convince Puerto."
"Yo no hablo sueco," clarified Puerto
"Eso está muy mal. Sueco es un idioma divertido," said Cassandra.
"Que? Vad?" asked Sven.
"Boss, the Killer Robot is ready," said one of the thugs.
The giant robot began to move jerkily toward Sven. It raised its giant arm. Puerto laughed. The audience booed. The thugs watched eagerly. Cassandra hastily assembled the last piece of her secret weapon. Ben fainted. Sven raised his nunchuks threateningly.
"You better call off your giant robot," yelled Sven to Puerto, "or I'm totally going to do a cool ninja move and whack off its arm with my nunchuks!"
Puerto sniggered. "How about if I don't believe you?"
The robot advanced inexorably toward the slender blond hero. "We can talk this over, Puerto!" Sven yelled frantically.
"Why?" asked Puerto.
"Ummm... I don't know!" said Sven, "But I'm going to think of a reason!"
"Despedida, Sven Spencer," said Puerto, turning his back. The robot raised its arm, ready to punch our hero into oblivion.
"You mean despedida libertad?" asked Cassandra.
Puerto turned. Cassandra stood on the balcony, a gleaming weapon raised over her head.
"Que?" asked Puerto politely.
"Puerto Estera Jeffy Delito Blake, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Sven Spencer and for illegally hijacking and attempting to rob the New Spork City opera house." she said.
"How about you're not the police so I don't have to listen to you?" laughed Puerto.
The killer robot, still programmed to the Punch Into Oblivion setting, began aiming heavy blows at Sven. Sven dodged the pummeling fist and made a wild swing at the robot's arm with his nunchucks. The swing missed and his nunchuks went flying over the arm, hitting two thugs in the face and knocking them unconscious.
"I totally meant to do that," claimed Sven, before jumping out of the way as the fist slammed down again.
"I'm making a citizen's arrest," shouted Cassandra over the sound of stage wood splintering.
"How about I don't care?" Puerto shouted back.
"Then maybe you'll listen to my arma de distracción masiva!"
"Que?" asked Puerto incredulously.
"Si," replied Cassandra.
Puerto laughed. "How about that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard?"
"What, more ridiculous than being named after a spider?" Cassandra snapped.
Sven jumped and grabbed onto a large lever sticking out of the robot's back. He used his legs to climb up the robot's body until he was at eye level with the wording above the lever. Activate Flight Setting, it said.
"Oops." said Sven as the robot blasted through the roof of the opera. Sven hung on for dear life as he was carried into the night sky above the opera house. He could see Cassandra and Puerto still arguing beneath him. He sighed.
"I love that girl," he told the robot. The robot was unsympathetic. It was designed for killing, not romance. And frankly it was too busy dragging Sven and his mini-arsenal 50,000 feet skyward.
Will Sven survive? Will Ben regain consciousness? Will Cassandra arrest Puerto? What exactly is an arma de distracción masiva? (Look it up on this online translator). Find out on Friday!
Next section: Spoon Suit Man part 20 (Spidophile)
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