Spoon Suit Man: Part 15 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he was delivering an unconscious angry German super villain to at the police station. - Lauren 

Sven's old friend Chief Captain Leif Captin, the Chief of Police, walked up to Sven and shook his hand.


"What am I supposed to do with him?" he asked, eyeing the unconscious German with trepidation.

"Oh, I don't know - impenitranium prison?" said Sven.

"You know, it's easy for you to bring these guys to me, but I've got to find a place to put them. First it was that unnerving Clementine dude, then it was that creepy Spider-woman lady, and now it's a giant unconscious viking! What's next, a killer robot? You know what, don't answer that question. Knowing you it probably will be."


"Hey, you think it's easy for me to bring them in? I don't just go pick them off an apple tree."


"I'd like to see the tree that this guy grew on," said the Captain jokingly. "You see Cassandra yet?"

"No. About her..."

"You want to take her out somewhere?"

"Yeah... there's an opera tonight. I have tickets."

"All right, go ask her. Just one condition."

"Yes?"

"Leave the suit at home. Want her to have a quiet sort of evening."

"Will do, sir. Thanks."

"Hey, you take care of her, hear?"

"Sure thing, Captain Lief. I'll try not to bring you any killer robots."

Sven hurried out of the Chief Captain's office in search of the Chief's daughter, Cassandra. He found her just walking out of an interview she'd had with a prisoner. She was a lawyer, one of the best in New Spork City.

"I don't care what he says," she said to Sven. "I'm not taking his case."

"Who was that?" asked Sven.

"Antioco Faust. The Clementine. He's really unnerving."

"Your dad said the same thing."

"Oh, you talked to my dad?"

"Yes. Just brought in another criminal."

"I guessed. You're wearing the suit. Was he easy?"

"You should have been there. Ben threw a cheesecake in my face."

Cassandra grinned. "How is the dear doctor?"

"Probably mourning the loss of his cheesecake."

"This villain - someone whose case I should avoid?"

"Well, if you don't want to go deaf, then yes."

"Chatterbox?"

"No, he's got a voice like Black Bolt."

"WHO DARES TIE UP VERLIERER?" thundered a voice from above them.

"That's him?" asked Cassandra.

"Yep."

"Verlierer?"

"Yeah, I heard that name a lot while we were fighting. This guy can't speak in the first person."

"Verlierer?"

"That's his name."

"But... it means "loser" in German."

"Hope he doesn't know that. On second thought, I hope he does."

"You're terrible."

"I know. I had this brilliant plan to send Antioco an orange, but then reconsidered it. I don't want him using it to escape."

"I can see the headline now. Villain receives orange and breaks out. Hero responsible!"

"Yeah, pretty much. Then I thought maybe I should send Jazmin a tarantula-"

"Is that the one who looks like Spider-Woman?"

"Well she calls herself the eight-legged arachnid, or something like that, but yeah, pretty much. I don't know what her last name is."

"Blake. Jazmin Blake."

"Sounds familiar."

"One of your old enemies?"

"Maybe. I can't place it. Oh well. Want to go to the opera tonight?"

"Sure. Got tickets?"

"Would I ask without tickets?" Sven was shocked.

"You have before."

"We decided not to talk about that, remember? Anyway, your dad made sure I did."

"You going to come pick me up?"

"Seven o' clock. Bring your opera glasses. I got us a balcony seat."

Sven walked out of the police office, clicked his heels together and said "There's no place like home." His boot thrusters activated, his spooncopter began whirring, and, rising into the air, he flew back to his apartment.

When he got there, Ben was gone. In Cheerios on the table were spelled out the words: gone shopping gotta spend $$.

Sven took off the suit, relaxed on the couch, and flipped on the telly.

The commercials had just ended when he felt a cold, hard object pressed against his head.

"How about this is a gun?" said a mysterious voice.


"How about if it is?" said Sven.

"How about if I told you I was going to kill you?"

"How about if you didn't?" reasoned Sven.

"How about if I pulled this trigger, right now?"

"How about if you stopped using the phrase 'how about'?" suggested Sven.

"How about if it was trademark and I couldn't?"

"That would be an annoying trademark."

"How dare you mock me? How about you are the one at death's door right now?"

"Are you death's door mat?" asked Sven.

Who is this mysterious stranger? Will Sven find out in time to save himself? What will Ben buy with Sven's money? Find out on Tuesday!


Next section: Spoon Suit Man part 16 (Spidophile)