Spoon Suit Man: Part 18 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, he had been hoodwinked by his enemy, the Brown Recluse. - Lauren

"How do you intend to kill me?" Sven asked.

Through Cassandra's opera glasses, he saw the Recluse smile.

"How about you find out for yourself?"

"But I'll be dead."

"How about it's a slow death and you'll know how you die before you die?"

"How about it's a quick death and you just tell me."

"How about I don't?" said the Recluse.

"Hey, that's my line!"

"How about I can take other's lines and just use them whenever I want?"

"How about you stop saying how about?" called Sven from the balcony "Call the police!" he whispered to Cassandra.

"Why?"

"I don't have my suit with me!"

"Then take these." Cassandra opened her purse and pulled out a pair of  long bladed knuckles and some small nunchucks. Sven watched in awe as she detached spiky brass knuckles, a kubotan thruster and a tiny gun from her key chain.

"You carry this with you?"

"Hey, going out with you is like invading Germany. I come prepared."

"Better call the police while I'm down there." Sven slipped on both pairs of brass knuckles and gathered up the rest of the weapons. "Better call Ben, too. How do I look?"


"Like Wolverine who stole the Punisher's key ring." 

"How about you come down here in three seconds or my men start shooting, man of spoon?" roared the Brown Recluse.

Sven hurried down the hundreds of stairs to the stage, stuffing the tiny weapons into his pockets as he went. The nunchucks wouldn't fit so he tucked them under his arm and stepped onto the stage.

"Alright, Recluse, let's finish this,"  said Sven, crouching into a defensive position.

"How about that?" threatened the Recluse.

The two opponents circled each other, menacingly ninja-chopping at the air. Up in the balcony, Cassandra was dialing 911 on her phone.

"Come on, you darn batteries," she muttered in frustration "Work!"

With her free hand she searched her purse for any remaining weapons she might have on hand. Her groping fingers brushed against an unusual object. Surprised, Cassandra lifted it out to examine it.

"Oh," she exclaimed out loud "I didn't know I still had this."

"Had what?" said a nerdy voice.

"Ben! thank goodness!" said Cassandra, holding the phone to her ear. "I thought my batteries were dead!"

"What batteries?" asked Ben.

"My phone batteries, of course."

"Why would you need your phone?"

"Wha- oh." Cassandra turned around to face Ben. "What are you doing here?"

"More importantly, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be working on a villain case instead of going to the opera?"

"Um, I'm on a sort of date right now."

"Where's your date?"

Cassandra handed Ben the opera glasses. After a quick glance at the stage he sank down on the floor next to her.

"Are those nunchucks? Why is that guy here? Are you Sven's secret girlfriend?"

"Chill, Ben," said Cassandra, rummaging through her purse. "Just tell me why you're here."

"Oh," Ben dug through his pockets. "I thought he might need his breath mints.I saw his ticket before so I knew where to go. He always keeps them in this spoon-shaped thing and - here it is."

Ben pulled a spoon out of his jacket.

"What brand is that?" asked Cassandra

"Umm," Ben squinted at some printing on the handle "SS20. Weird, huh?"

Meanwhile, Sven was locked in combat with the Brown Recluse.  He had no idea how to use the nunchucks, but was doing fine with the claws. He just hoped that the Recluse couldn't use his gun at short range. His hopes became true when the Recluse said:

"How come you have all these weapons and I have this gun that I can't even use at short range?"

"How come?" gasped Sven.

"How come you didn't notice," Puerto smiled evilly "That my men were assembling a Killer Robot while I kept you busy?"

"Because...." gulped Sven "You kept me busy?"

The curtain parted and The Killer Robot stepped onto the stage. The audience hissed and booed. Sven gulped again. The thing was enormous.

Up in the balcony Cassandra was assembling her own weapon. 


Will Sven be punched into oblivion by the killer robot? Or will he be able to use Cassandra's weapons to defeat it? What is Cassandra assembling? Find out on Thursday!


Next section: Spoon Suit Man part 19 (Lauren)