Sven ducked as Verlierer tried again to impale his head on the spikes of his club. He slammed his armor encased fist into Verlierer's chest, knocking the German thug across the floor. Then he blew on his fist and rubbed it against his chest plate.
"HOW COME MY SPIKES DID NOT SPIKE YOU, SCHLAPPSCHWANZ?" demanded Verlierer.
"Impenitranium." replied Sven "Added to the spoon material in my suit."
"THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT," shouted his adversary slyly. "SO I BRING MY PENITRANIUM SPIKES."
"What's penitranium?" asked Ben.
"The only thing that can penitrate impenitranium," Sven explained.
"YOU SWEDISH SCHLAPPSCHWANZ WILL NEVER PENETRATE THE MIGHT OF VERLIERER!"
"Don't worry. You'll have lots of time to think that phrase over in the 'penitraniary'." retorted Sven lamely. "What? I had like, two seconds."
"I don't get it." said Ben around a mouthful of cheesecake.
"I said in the penitraniary you know, like penitentiary?"
"I get it, it's just not funny. Or clever."
"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU SCHLAPPSCHWANZ CAN PUT VERLIERER IN THIS PENITRANIARY?"
"These Japanese shurikens that are also made of penitranium."
Two slots appeared in the arms of Spoon Suit Man's SS20 portable lightweight armor and out shot a stream of penitranium shurikens. Verlierer the German roared and and tried to use his spiky club to shield his face. He swung blindly at Sven but missed and crashed to the floor as shurikens bit his spiky penitranium armor.
"Ready to give up yet?" asked our hero "Three villains jailed in one day is probably a record."
"The Fantastic Four brought in the Frightful Four and Spider-man caught the Sinister Six and a whole gang, once," commented Ben nerdily.
"RAAAAAH!" screamed our villain. With speed that surprised all he lunged at Sven and managed to tackle him and his 30 pound armor to the ground. This, however, activated the Spoon Suit's boot thrusters, sending both he and Verlierer shooting across the room. Sven shoved himself into a standing position. The angry German sprang to his feet and gripped Spoon Suit Man around his spoon/impenitranium neck.
"ANY LAST SCHLAPPSCHWANZ WORDS?"
"What does that even mean?" coughed the hero.
"IT MEANS 'WIMP' IN GERMAN." laughed the villain.
"It also means that you're going to jail, you overgrown porkypine!"
Ben stood a few yards behind Verlierer, raising a platter leftover cheesecake in his right hand.
"YOU SCHLAPPSCHWANZ DOES NOT HAVE A REAL WEAPON!" chuckled Verlierer the German, turning so that Sven got a facefull of badly aimed cheesecake.
"Thank you, Ben. That was much appreciated." sputtered Sven.
"You are welcome-oh my!" He gasped and pointed to Verlierer's enormous face.
"WHAT IS SO SHOCKING?" roared Verlierer.
"German measles!"
"GERMAN MEASLES?!?"
"Yes, they just broke out on your face," informed Ben, A.K.A. Dr. Spork. "But I am a doctor and can cure you if I work fast enough."
"WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO?" Verlierer dropped Sven and approached Ben with a concerned expression on his face.
"Let me get my stethoscope," decided Ben "And I will cure your measles."
Dr. Spork retrieved his stethoscope and pressed it against Verlierer's spiky neck.
"It is not working, it has to touch your skin so I can hear."
Obediently, the massive German opened the zipper to reveal his neck. Ben stuck the ear buds in his ears and held up the other end close to the villain's neck.
"Now hold still."
Ben pressed the stethoscope against Verlierer's skin and activated the built-in hidden taser. Verlierer gave a roar and collapsed to the floor. Sven rose and gave him a kick in the back. The German didn't move.
"Nice work, Ben. Very bad acting though, I was thinking of backup plans while you were talking to him."
Ben snorted.
"Hey, I thought of an excellent way to take down a supervillain involving german measles and my stethoscope! Don't I get any credit?"
"Yes, yes. Magnificent work, dear doctor Benny." Sven pulled a metal cord from his left knee and began to wind it around Verlierer's unconscious body. "Third supervillian caught in this room today."
"Waste of a good cheesecake." Ben remarked as he watched Sven and the captive Verlierer disappear around a skyscraper.
Next up: Sven meets the girl of his dreams... and perhaps the villain of his nightmares. Check back next Monday!
Next section: Spoon Suit Man part 15 (Lauren)
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