The Ball: Part 7 (Lauren)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Helen Excalibur had been dragged off to a dark alley by a mysterious captor. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Professor Excalibur:


"Hands off me!" yelled Helen Excalibur.

"Okay, okay," said her abductor. He backed away from her.

"Scab Berto!" she cried.

"Professor," said Scab Berto, bowing.

"Where's my sword?" Helen reached for her sheath and drew the long blade.

"Now, now, cousin," said the the treacherous villain, holding his hands up. "We can talk this over."

"You treacherous villain!" said Helen. "You planned this, didn't you?"

"Alas, no, cousin."

The Ball: Part 6 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had all been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Cap'n Cino had been picked up and flown out of the ballroom. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Cap'n Cino: 

Clementine had snatched the hero from the ballroom and flown through the door out into the sky on his Orangeglider.

"Bet you weren't expecting this, Spoonface!" he cackled as they zipped around a building.

"I'll admit it, you totally fooled me. You fooled us all." called Cino above the wind. "But you won't beat us all!"

"That's what you think!" Clementine grinned with glee. "But in the end, the orange really is mightier than the spoon, so HAH!  Did you think I was a fool, Spencer? Did you really think that I was so helpless as to be brought to jail by YOU?" he continued. "This is what you get for underestimating me!"

"I didn't underestimate you, mister. Nobody underestimated you. You're still just a man dressed as an orange, and always will be!"

The Ball: Part 5 (Lauren)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Ben had been picked up and tossed roughly over an enormous, broad shoulder - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Ben:

Ben woke up (yes, he had fainted) to find himself being dumped in a garbage can in an alley. He blinked blearily. Then he realized where he was.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Ben.

Slowly, the big burly man who had carried him off turned to face him.

"Whaaats youur prooobleeem?" the man said, drawing out each of the vowels.

"I'm in a garbage can!" shrieked Ben.

"I can take you out if you want," he said slowly.

Reaching into the garbage can, he pulled the trembling sidekick out and dropped him on the ground. Coffee grounds and banana peels fell all around him.

The Ball: Part 4 (Spidophile)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our heroes, they had all been abducted by Mysterious Villains. Jupidor, the greek rain god, had been dragged away in the dark by a mysterious captor. - Lauren

In which we learn what happened to Dor:

As soon as the mysterious villain had Dor safely out of the ballroom he was joined by a dozen burly henchmen who subdued the rain god without much difficulty. Dor woke to the sound of a triumphant voice.

"Velcome to my lair, Capitan!"

Dor opened his eyes.

"Indeed, you art the red faced man who had approached me before."

"But don't you realize who I am? Your greatest nemesis? ZE RED HERRING?!?" the villain threw up his hands.

The Ball: Part 3 (Lauren)

 (Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our hero, he had arrived at the long-expected party. His friend (and the hero he had dressed up as) Jupidor had just gone to the bar. - Lauren

"Ah, my brother Bacchus would approve," said the muscular Dor as he strode up to the bar. "What is your name, woman, she who purveys fine drinks?"

"Molly Pitcher," she said sharply. "I'd like to remind you that drinks are only available to those 21 and older."

"Fair Molly, I was born in 600 B.C., that blessed time where wine was as common as water."

"Then have you talked to your doctor about the effects of consuming alcohol at your age?"

"Doctor?" Dor was confused. "As my good friend Thales of Miletus once said - "

"Drink please." Sven leaned against the bar and took off his orange helmet. "I need one if I'm going to spend the rest of the evening in this cost-"

Sven recognized Dor just in time.

"I mean, as my mother used to say, 'Whine less; breath more.' But who needs to breathe, right?"

Spoon Suit Man Recap

Hello, loyal readers! Lauren here.

I was feeling a little nostalgic today, so I've put together a recap featuring Spidophile's illustrations and the Spoon Suit Man theme.

If you're feeling nostalgic as well and would like to go back and read from the beginning, click here.

Remember to check back next Tuesday to continue reading the exciting new chapter of the Spoon Suit Man story, The Ball.

-Lauren

The Ball: Part 2 (Spidophile)

(Click here to read The Ball from the beginning!)

When we last left our hero, he was wakened by his computer J.E.R.O.S.L.A.V., and then commenced complaining about Greek fashion to his computer, who remains unsympathetic. - Lauren

"Very good, sir. Shall I iron your armbands, sir?" asked  J.E.R.O.S.L.A.V.

"Yeah, and while you're at it iron the miniskirt." replied Sven grumpily.

"Actually, sir, the blue garment you are requesting me to iron is called a tunic."

"Yeah," Sven sighed and reached for his jeans. "But it looks like a miniskirt."

Ben was still snoring soundly on the sofa. Sven stomped sleepily to the colossal kitchenette in search of some cereal. But when he got there, the cupboard was bare, and so poor old Svenny had none.

"Drat." he slammed the cupboard door shut.

"Shall I order some more Marshmallow Mateys online, sir?"

Attention!

Attention Loyal Readers!

We interrupt our regular posting to bring you this important word from the authors.

If you haven't already suffered a seizure due to Plucky's incessant arm waving, we encourage you to go check out author Lauren's new blog, Word Art, in which she posts about writing and book related stuff.

So, go check it out, follow it, and if you're getting a headache watching Plucky, go back and read some old Spoon Suit Man while waiting for the new one on Thursday. 

Spidophile has diligently gone back and posted links to the next section of the story beneath every previous section of the story for your reading ease and pleasure.

See y'all on Thursday, loyal followers!

~ Lauren and Spidophile (and Plucky)

The Ball: Part 1 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had concluded an exciting day of crime-fighting. Now, he is about to embark on one of the most astounding, mind-bending, heart-pounding, fantastically awesome adventures of his lifetime! Read on, eager followers! ~ Lauren and Spidophile

Early Saturday Morning...

A shady figure lurks in the shadows. He is approached by another, even more shadowy figure.

"Tonight?" he asks.

"Tonight." agrees the shadowy figure.

"Is he coming?" asks the shady figure.

"I am here," says a voice.

The shady and shadowy figures spin around. An evil face leers out of the shadows at them.

"How did you do it?" asks the shadowy figure.

"I have my ways." says the evil one.

Spoon Suit Man: Part 23 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he was escorting the lovely Cassandra Captin home, leaving his resentful cousin and sidekick Ben to walk home alone in the rain. - Lauren

Two hours later Sven entered his apartment to find Ben eating popcorn and watching "America's Got Talent".


"No!" Ben shouted, spilling popcorn. "That guy was funny! Send him to the next round!"

Sven guiltily attempted to sneak past Ben. Unfortunately, the commercials came on and Ben's attention wavered from the screen.

"Sven, is that you?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, Ben. It's the big bad wolf."

"Sven, you left me alone at the theater! What kind of a friend are you? What kind of a cousin are you?"

Spoon Suit Man: Part 22 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, he had left his sidekick to walk home alone in the rain. - Lauren

"Oh oh oh oh oh is is it? Is it?" said a high pitched frantic voice. Ben turned around. Hanging upside down by his feet from the bottom of a fire ladder in the shadows of a dark alley was a shadowy figure.

"Plucky? What are you doing here?" he grumbled. The figure backflipped off the fire ladder and performed a series of cartwheels.

"I'm ever so plucky!" he chirped.

"Good for you, rainbow head." Ben walked away,  still miserable. Plucky skipped up beside him on his hands.

"You going to to to to to to the ball tomorrrroooowwww???"

"Sure."

"You need some costume advice?"

Spoon Suit Man: Part 21 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had just put on his portable armor in order to defeat the evil minions of Puerto Estera Blake, the Brown Recluse. - Lauren

"GET OUT!" Sven roared in his deepest voice. The effect would have perhaps been more terrifying if he had had a helmet to amplify his voice, but in any case, it worked.

The frightened thugs began running pell-mell out of the building. And I do mean pell-mell.

The audience erupted into cheering and applause. Sven bowed as he received a standing ovation. Cassandra beamed from the balcony. Ben had fainted after throwing SS20, and was laying unconscious at her feet. And Puerto...

"Prepararse para morir," said Puerto, and he held a gun to Sven's head.

The audience booed and hissed and threw popcorn. Sven didn't move.

"This is foolish, Puerto," he said in a low voice.

"How foolish? How do you call this foolish?" Puerto hissed, "How about I'm ready to blow your head off?"

"You really don't want to do that."