Attack of the Klowns: Part 8 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, he had enlisted the help of Dor to aid him in the rescue of his sidekick and cousin from the clutches of evil aliens. - Lauren


After they cleared the atmosphere, Sven explained to Dor about the Klowns and the Akrobats. After he finished, he remembered that there was no sound in space. After they were inside the Akrobat ship, he explained it again. After that, the real planning began.

"What's the plan?" asked Sven to Dor, Xenia and Xidorn collectively.

"We storm their vessel of evil and crush all in our path!" roared Dor, demonstrating with his umbrella so they all had to duck to avoid being flattened.

"I like it." Xidorn stood up. "Simple, easy to remember."

"Except they outnumber us forty-to-one." Xenia pointed out.

"We could use stealth." Sven suggested. "Slip in, grab stuff, slip out."

Attack of the Klowns: Part 7 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he had made a deal with an alien species called the Akrobats to help them defeat the evil alien race: The Klowns.

Meanwhile, back on the Klown's spaceship, Ben was undergoing the most rigorous test of his life.

"What is 10 + the square root of 4?" asked Doctor Murray.

"Um.... 9?" asked Ben.

"Incorrect," said Doctor Murray. "The answer is twelve. If someone took your wallet away from you, how would that make you feel?"

"Ummm.... Sad?"

"Incorrect. The answer is angry. What does this look like to you?"

Doctor Murray held up a piece of paper with a picture of Spider-man on it.

"Ummm... That's Spider-man."

"Incorrect," said Doctor Murray. "This is a piece of paper. Last question."

Attack of the Klowns: Part 6 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, he had heard the news that Ben had been abducted by aliens. 

Meanwhile, Back at the ranch, (or should I say earth), Sven arrived on the scene of the circus tent. Nicole bounded toward him.

"Svenny!" she threw her arms around his neck and burst into fresh tears. Sven awkwardly patted her on the back. She broke away from him.

"Oh, Svenny! So Benny and I were like going to the circus and I hugged him at the bus station and he like said you're choking me and I laughed and said oh Benny you're so funny and then we got to the circus and he was like that's not how it's spelled and I said that it was like crispy cream and then there was cotton candy that like looked totally like vomit  and the popcorn was totally like purple and like this game where you whack a little horse with like this big hammer and like this big clown came and gave him a yellow balloon and he gave me a green balloon and there was also like a green lion and Benny was scared of it and I told him that it was a vegetarian and then we went up into the big top and Ben said it was to high and then like the show started and there were these clowns and they were giving out balloons and then they like took these poles and I thought they were going to do pole salting and he said vaulting and I said salting and he said vaulting and I said salting and they hit the poles against each other and there was like lightning everywhere and they hit the people with like yellow balloons and made them disappear and then Benny like asked for a safety pin but all I had was a scimitar and so the lightning hit him and now he's GONE! BOOHOOHOOHOOHOOO!"

Attack of the Klowns: Part 5 (Lauren)

When we last left our sidekick, he had been abducted by clown-like aliens. - Lauren

When Ben awoke (yes, he had fainted) he found himself laying on a smooth, clean, cold floor.

He groggily sat up. The yellow balloon was still tied to his wrist.

"I feel groggy," he said.

A teenage girl wearing glasses who sat beside him (and also had a yellow balloon tied to her wrist) turned to him.

"I'm so glad you're awake," she said. "Do you think they're Skrulls?"

"You mean like the paper scrolls or like Marvel Skrulls?"

She laughed. 

"Marvel Skrulls, silly!"

Ben thought the way she said "silly" sounded much better than it did coming from Nicole.

Apologies...

We apologize for the lack of an episode today. Out posting schedule is a little bit off, so the next installment will be on Tuesday. 


-Spidophile

Attack of the Klowns: Part 4 (Spidophile)

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had gone on a date with his fiancee Nicole Soapdish. The circus they had gone to was extremely odd, however, and the seats at the top that Nicole had chosen were extremely high up. - Lauren

Once they had taken their seats at the very top, Ben began to feel altitude sickness. Nicole seemed just fine.

"Benny, look at what that guy's doing!" she squealed and pointed down toward the tiny ring.

"Yes, wow, amazing." said Ben, not looking down. With my luck, he thought, He'll have a hypnotic hat.

"Clowns!" shrieked Nicole delightedly. Despite himself, Ben looked down. 

Attack of the Klowns: Part 3 (Lauren)

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had just been rescued from dire straits by a mysterious heroine in white. - Lauren

"Ben, are you okay?" said Sven.

Ben whirled around. Sven stood there with his arms full of groceries.

"Sven," moaned Ben. "Nicole wants to go to the circus with me." 

"That's nice," said Sven. "You two should get to know each other better." 

"Sven!" moaned Ben. 

"Tell me when to rent my tux," said Sven, and he continued walking down the street. 

"Sven..." said Ben, running after him. 

"That's my name, don't overuse it," said Sven. 

Attack of the Klowns: Part 2 (Spidophile)

When we last left Ben Spencer, he had been forced into a circus date with his fiancee, Nicole Soapdish, and had just got a knock on the door. - Lauren

"What?" said Ben, opening the door. "Oh, hey Frank-the-delivery-guy."

"Package for you." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"This must be my new jacket!" gasped Ben excitedly. "Thanks, Frank-the-delivery-guy!"

"I need you to sign here." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"Oh, of course, Frank-the-delivery-guy ." Ben signed the paper.

"Okay, Thank you." said Frank-the-delivery-guy dully. 

"Bye, Frank-the-delivery-guy!" called Ben as Frank-the-delivery-guy walked away. 

"My name is Fred!" called Fred-the-delivery-guy dully. 

Attack of the Klowns: Part 1 (Lauren)

New Spork City Media presents... Killer Klowns From Outer Space!

They're aliens! They're clowns! They're the killer Klowns!

Ben rolled his eyes.

"Television is so unrealistic today," he muttered to no one in particular. It was Monday morning, and he was sprawled on the couch in front of his TV in his tiny, dingy apartment watching the syfy channel.

He almost fell off his couch reaching for the remote to change the channel. His mission accomplished, he flipped to a different channel.

P-p-p-p-pandora! P-p-p-p-pandora! Pandora-dora-dora brave explorer!

"Ooh, I love this show!" squealed Ben.