Spoon Suit Man: Part 5 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero, he was once again being threatened by the evil Clementine, who had just instructed him to choose his last words. - Lauren

"If you don't mind, I'd like to finish my breakfast," said Sven.

Clementine frowned. "Those have to be the worst last words ever. No matter, because soon you will be but a faint horrible memory! The supreme example of what happens to those who challenge the evil Clementine! No more shall you laugh sarcastically at my ubiquitous blunders! No more shall you always have the right catchphrase for every situation! No more shall you captivate audiences with your sheer energy and character! No more! So! Speaks! Clementine!"

Then, exhausted by that exhausting monologue, he collapsed into a chair.

"Orange juice?" offered Sven.

Spoon Suit Man: Part 4 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero, he was in the shower. The evil Clementine had left, but had sworn to return. - Lauren

One hour later the evil Clementine stalked back into the hero's apartment to find a fully dressed and much less grumpy Sven Spencer eating cereal and reading the morning paper. Sven gasped.


"Family Circus is still in the comics!?!?!?" he choked, spewing bits of Marshmallow Mateys and milk all over Clementine.


Clementine struck a match on his helmet and threw it on Sven's morning paper. Sven looked glumly at the smoldering articles that were leaving ash in his cereal. He was silent as he gallantly attempted to salvage the best marshmallows.

Spoon Suit Man: Part 3 (Lauren)

When we last left our hero he was still being threatened by the Evil Clementine, but his cousin and sidekick Ben was oblivious to the danger. - Lauren


"Wait a minute," Ben interrupted, suddenly realizing what Sven had said. "What's this new theme song you have, cuz? Am I in it? Cause I wasn't in the last one, or the one before that, or the one before - "

Sven shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Well, actually, cuz... the songwriter kind of forgot to put you in this one too."

"What?" yelped Ben, "Who's writing these songs, anyway? Come on, even Robin got put in the Batman song!"

"No, he didn't," put in Clementine, "That was Jingle bells, Batman smells. The Batman theme song was just the word Batman repeated over and over."

"Well, that's dumb." said Ben.

There was a moment of silence as they all contemplated the limited mind of the Batman theme song writer.

Suddenly Sven looked up and was about to speak.

Official Spoon Suit Man Theme Song

Here it is! The official Spoon Suit Man theme song, written and composed by Lauren.

Spoon Suit Man: Part 2 (Spidophile)

When we last left our hero he was being threatened by the Evil Clementine. The stalwart Ben Spencer came in, asking for a loan, and then realized that the villain was in the room. - Lauren 

"Hey!" Ben said, turning on the Evil Clementine, "Could I borrow some money from you?"

"Sorry, spent it on my new weapon," Clementine raised the shining, dangerous looking object.

"That's cool! what do you call that?" asked Ben excitedly

"I ...dont know yet"

Sven snorted "Knowing you, you'd probably call it something like kill you."

"And this is coming from Mister SPOONCOPTER?"

Spoon Suit Man: Part 1 (Lauren)

In the city of New Spork City, the mysterious hero known as Spoon Suit Man (a.k.a. Sven Spencer) was having nightmares...

Oh Mr. Spencer... said a young lady whom Sven had never met before, Please will you sign my notebook? No, sign mine! Clamored another young lady. I saw him first! screamed another. Soon Sven was surrounded by young ladies clamoring for his autograph. He tried to reach his suit so that he could escape but it was being scribbled on by a bunch of young men. One of the boys snickered as he painted a mustache on the helmet.

"Nooooooooooo!" yelled Sven, and he awoke with a start. At that exact moment, his arch-nemesis the Evil Clementine burst into his room.

"Sven Spencer!" he screamed, "PREPARE TO DIE!"

"I'm ready." sighed Sven.

"Good!" cackled Clementine, "Because - wait, what?"

"I'm ready to die." Sven repeated glumly.

"You're not supposed to be ready to die! You're supposed to be begging for mercy!" Clementine was aghast.